Self - help

Why We Get Bored In Relationships

Thinking about it now, I will never ever again be bored in a relationship. Imagine you are in a relationship and you are bored. That is disaster! There is a difference between being bored and feeling comfortable. Being bored, I believe, is a constant feeling of boredom, and being comfortable is a feeling of belongingness.

We often times take our partners for granted. We think that we know everything about them, but is it really true? We and our partners are changing everyday. Your partner is not your partner from yesterday. He or she has been to some place, listened some conversation, and something influenced them. How crazy is that? We everyday evolve to another person.

photo of women standing near each other
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How often do you really ask your partner how do they really feel? How was their day like, and so on? Everybody craving to be listened. Why don”t you ask first? It is not going to be given or told you, if you are not asking. Ask and you should know. Seek, and you should find.

“Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.”  -Gloria Steinem

“Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.”

I created a Meetup group, and on one day, there was two mans coming and talking about their relationships. They looked and felt so sad, and I could see and feel that. Imagine you are in relationships that is not fulfilling you. Why is that? I cannot answer you. You, and only you should know the reason. Maybe he or she is not the right one? Maybe just you two are stuck in a rut?

If you are stuck in a rut, you need to bring some refreshment to your relationship, and bring some novelties. Nobody is going to better your relationship, but you. If you are waiting for outside somebody to put that spark back between you two, you might wait forever.

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You need to think what your real, fulfilling relationship should look like. You need to define relationship, what does it mean for you. If you don”t define your perfect relationship, you will never have one.

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”  -George Sand

The trick here is, once you define YOUR perfect relationship, you need to work for it, you need to put a time and effort in it. You need to do the things to your partner. You need to touch and hug them maybe. You need to ask them how do they really feel. You need to create a time just for you two, and spend some quality time. Go out on a date.

Our ego is something that can destroy such relationships that we have. Lets say she is very confident, outgoing and full in trust in other people, but you are extrovert, feeling shy, and sometimes you are very anxious. Why are you not letting her to influence you? She can help you in that. But no, you are letting her down. You are jealous on her. Why, when it could be opposite? Relationships are here to grow together, they are not here to sabotage each other. How sad is that?

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I learned so much from every and each relationship that I had. Some of them were perfect at the beginning, but it didn”t lasted for long, ad that is ok. Some of them were very destructive, which is O.K. again. Why? It made me realize now, what perfect relationship should look like. So, take some time for yourself, and really think about your current relationship, and about the ones that you had in the past, and define your future best, and just go for it. Do every day small little steps, to better your relationships. When I say relationships, I mean in general. Relationships are friend relationship, people that you meet randomly. Treat people with respect, and you will be treated accordingly.

If you are not being treated the way you deserve, ask yourself why you are still in relationship. In relationships, I think, it is all about doing small gestures, such as being here for them, asking them questions, and then, really listen them with understanding.

“There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.”  -Martin Luther

Relationship should feel like you arrived, you are at home, you can be yourself, but it takes time to build that trust, and it”s worth it. People connections is all that we need, along with food, water and shelter. Relationships should be cherished, fulfilling and natural. The ones that are not, consider leaving.

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Something interesting happened to me yesterday. I met friend of mine after some time, and at the beginning of our conversation was all good, but after he finished his first drink, he started to talking how I, on the outside look very happy, but in fact on the inside I look very unhappy. I was at the shock! Shock because I finally realized that this is all not true. This is all about his reflection of his state. At the shock because I wasn”t upset or angry. At the shock, because I finally learned how to respond not react. I learned my lessons, but that is just because I was working on myself. Working on my beliefs and everything. What happened after that is never going to happen again, and I am proud of myself because I responded the way how would most wise person do. I just left him there in a hope that he is going to find himself soon again.

Life is full of all sorts of challenges. The most precious thing that we have is our relationships. Relationship with ourselves first, and then with other people.

If you are lonely when you are alone, you are not in good company.

Think about people as a asset. Asset that you need to earn and then take care of. Asset that you need to be very careful with, because otherwise, you will lost it.

The question here is, is it really worth investing your time, energy and money? You, and only you know the answer.

Please, if you read this far, comment, subscribe, like and share with your friends, and most importantly, work on your relationship with you first, and then, outside world will change accordingly. 

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