I used to be very, very shy. I only opened my mouth surrounded by family and closest friends, strangers never heard my voice. Until the day I decided to be a great conversationalist and communicator. I was doing every possible thing to push myself, to face my fears anyway, and guess what, it feels amazing. It feels amazing to connect with other human being, because we can learn so much from each other. Only if you truly listen, not just hearing them.
First things first, you need to be clear on why you wanna be a great conversationalist. Why am I asking you to do that, is because if you don”t know your why, you are not going to follow through. You must be clear on why. If you, and me, are having strong enough reasons why we do the things we do, only then we are going to be able to finish that, until the goal is completed.
I think for me, what I learned so far, is that you must love people. You must love humanity, the differences in every individual, black or white, Muslim or Christian, all the people on this planet earth, because hey, the beauty is in the difference.
You need to want to connect with other human being deeply. I think there is not more satisfying thing than to connect with someone and talk about the meaningful stuff. You can learn so much from others, but only if you truly and genuinely listen.
It is about asking people questions. Be sincerely interested about them, that is exactly how they are going to see you, as a great conversationalist, because you are, you are genuinely interested what people has to say.
Here are my couple of points how to be great at this:
1. Ask open questions
2. Look people in the eyes
3. Truly listen
4. Have open body language
5. Be confident in yourself
5. Talk very clear and understandable
6. Your voice should sound confident
These are my points. And as I already said. I made myself to the point where I can talk with just anyone and have an amazing time with them.
Now I am going to be sharing the points that I heard from one Youtube video. Tips from the woman who”s profession is to talk with other people. Here is her amazing Ted Talk. Open up, and start learning an amazing stuff from her.
Genuine people are trustworthy.
People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel. Genuine people mean what they say, and if they make a commitment, they keep it.
Give them genuine compliment. You can say something; “You look stunning today.” or “I like your sweater.” People love to be complimented. They are dying to be noticed, to be complimented by someone.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Practice entering conversations anytime, anywhere and you should become great at it.
KNOW HOW TO START CONVERSATION
People want to talk, but not everybody has a good approach. For example, I have a neighbour that is always approaching me when he sees me outside. I don”t wanna always be approached by someone. Do you? People don”t know how to give a space to someone. And the worst thing, he doesn”t even say “Hello!” or “How are you?”. He immediately jumps on the conversation, and that is usually about another people. I don”t wanna listen this stuff! The truth of a matter is, I don”t really care what someone did or did not do. Do you?
KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD
People might listen, but they are in their head constantly, thinking about what is going to be the next thing that they must say, and then, they are interrupting people. You and me are not going to be one of them. We are going to lose our minds and give full attention to the person we talk to. We are going to be focused on their sensations while they deliver the message. Their body language, face expressions and so on.
Only if you pay attention you can respond accordingly, and connect with the person that you talk to.
Everyone has opinions about something, just not everyone are expressing them. Say them out loud, but don”t try to make another person convince in yours. People like to hear other peoples point of view.
Balance in all life segments is so crucial, flow of the conversations are one of them.
People often times have a conversations while ordering a food in the restaurant. Excuse yourself and let them know that you need a time to choose the food that you want to eat. They would appreciate that, and give you some space. After you place the order, dive right into the conversation again.
Expressing your opinions in a pompous and dogmatic way is not nice. You are not always right.
USE OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS
You can ask something like: “What is your plan for the weekend?” “What are you having for your lunch today?” or “How that made you feel?” There are the countless of open ended questions that you can ask throughout the conversation, that will keep the conversation up and running, and in the flow.
EVERYONE YOU WILL EVER MEET KNOW”S SOMETHING THAT YOU DON”T
This is the easiest, simplest, quickest, and free way of learning something new, by having an actual conversations with people.
GO WITH THE FLOW
If the person that you talk to is jumping to the different points and views, go with the flow of that. If you remember something that you can add up, say it, they would appreciate that, and that is what will keep conversations in the flow.
IF YOU DON”T KNOW SAY THAT YOU DON”T KNOW
People often times wanna go into the conversations just because they wanna boost their ego and feel inferior, making them look like they are right, but that is not what we want here. If you wanna be great conversationalist, you must be honest and say clearly that you don”t know much about this topic, and that will build a trust in another person, person that you talk to.
BE PREPARED TO BE AMAZED
People are beautiful creatures. We can learn so much from each other. So be prepared to be amazed.
Now it”s your turn you guys. Do you like to have a conversations? Do you feel comfortable while interacting with other people, and what kind of conversations you like to have?
Tell us in a comments, so we can have a conversation up and running. 🙂