Social Life

How to find new friends

We are social beings and we need interaction with other humans. Your life would not be meaningful without the people around you. Other people spice up our lives. They tell us stories, and make us laugh. We learn from each other.

Have you heard about the quote: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”? People around us, our friends, are the reflection on ourselves. Like always attracts like.

Now, you might be thinking how to attract those new, better friends?

By you being good or better! You need to level up yourself. They are not going to come to you, if you are not yourself built up already. Would you go to a junkie right now, wanting to develop a relationship, and friendship with him? I doubt you would. Because, you and me, with a junkies, are on completely different level.

Don”t get me wrong. I don”t have nothing against junkies. This was just an example.

You need to be for what you want to become. Be, and you already are.

When most people set out to change their lives, they often focus on all the external stuff, like a new job or a new location or new friends or a new romantic prospects and on and on. The reality is that changing your life starts with changing the way you see everything in your life. Mark Manson
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/new-friends-quotes

Keep the old friends, those are gold, but also make a new one, these are silver, says Joseph Parry, and I truly believe that to be true. Why?

It is about the variety. You both influenced each other for years. Why would you let go of those friends after years of friendships? Even though you are not in contact with them anymore? You reach out to them first. Ask them how they are doing. Do whatever it takes to refresh the contact with them, if you want, of course.

And, on the contrary, it is ok if two people split. They both go different direction. Make your own best decision, and stick to it.

Friends are gold.

Our best memories are around the people.

If I asked you right now what are some of your best memories, I believe you are going to be saying, around the people that you love, your gatherings, celebrations…etc.

No wonder, because this is life. Making memories with the people that you love is precious. Take good care of them, and they are gonna be taking good care of you. Be really interested about the people that are surrounding you, your family and friends.

How to find new friends:

  1. Sign up for Meetup.com and attend meetings of your interest
  2. Invite friends of the friends to the parties and meetings
  3. Have a conversations with strangers (when appropriate)
  4. Connect with people online, ask questions, give compliments
  5. Be kind (kindness is the new currency)
  6. Introduce yourself
  7. Be outgoing and nonchalant
  8. Be interested in others
  9. Expect nothing from others, but give your all
  10. Boost your confidence
  11. Be your own best friend first

There are countless of books on this subject, same as Youtube videos. Answers are there, you just need to find them. And take those answers that best suits you, and your current situation.

The best book about how to be your own best friend that I highly recommend.

What is real, lasting happiness? How does one achieve it? And why are so many people holding themselves back? At the heart of this profound, simple, beautiful book is the wisdom of Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz, married psychoanalysts who encourage readers to both love themselves and to confront life’s hardest truths. A classic for more than three decades, How to Be Your Own Best Friend has already changed millions of lives. Now, open up your mind, and let it change yours.

Praise for How to Be Your Own Best Friend

Friends fo
Friends for life.

Now, I know that this may sound counterintuitive, but hear me out.

You are with yourself your whole life.

You need to be good with you first, in order to find good friends, friends for life, those that are going to stick with you forever.

The first step to becoming a friend to yourself, is to treat yourself like you would treat a friend. That means that you need to stop being self-critical and beating yourself up. Start by acknowledging your good qualities, talents and abilities and begin to appreciate your own unique self. Source

Nobody wants to be treated badly, and so do you. Would you stay in a relationship with a person who is always criticises you? Of course you wouldn”t! So stop to criticise yourself, and stop beating yourself up. You need to love and appreciate yourself first, to have healthy relationships with other people.

Do you have any thoughts on this so far? What are some of the places that you met your new friends? Common or uncommon. We would greatly appreciate that, as it will give us a hope. So share with us, please.

How to win friends and influence people is another great book that thought me how to treat others in a more influential and positive kind of way. So much so, that I had to write a Blog Post on this. 😀 You can read it HERE.

People are craving for human connection.

I truly believe, people are craving for human connection now more than ever. That”s probably because of this technology times. We are in front of our computers and televisions all the time.

So don”t be afraid to reach out to other human. We”ve been all craving that. I know I do. And I believe you do too.

Is there anything better than have a blast with couple of your friends, with good music, food and dance? I don”t think so. So go out and make some friends. Don”t forget to have a fun with it.

We wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

Maja.

 

 

Personal Development

Why is focusing on yourself important

Don’t take everything so seriously. Don’t take life so seriously. Don’t take things personally.

There will always be people around you. They will tell stories, do certain things, but you, and only you should take care of you, and know your own truth. What does your gut feeling tells you? What do you think it’s true? Focusing on yourself is so crucial to live happy and fulfilled life. Like, you are never going to be able to help others if you still don”t take care of you.

“Become the person you are trying to meet.”
― Germany Kent

Next time when you are going to be tired, just go and take a rest. You feel like you need a healthy meal, go and make yourself one. You are in group people, notice how they make you feel. Someone been rude to you, notice how you really feel like, what caused them to be rude to you.

How I focus on myself:

I watch how I feel, every day, most of the day. So if I don”t feel good, my vibration is low, or I have negative emotions, I try to lift myself up, by changing my thoughts, doing something that makes me feel happy, spending some more time in nature, etc.

The most important relationship you will develop in this lifetime is the one that you have with yourself.

Again, I am in certain situation that I don”t like, I will ask my friends advice and their opinion, but will truly and honestly ask myself what is deep down the right thing to do for me. Story about that; not that long time ago, I was in situation that I was dating a guy for 10 months, still dating, but never been in relationship. I asked my friends what they would do if they was me, nobody said leave him, everybody said: “just have fun”. I knew that this is not the solution, I wanted more, and I felt like I deserve more, so I was honest with myself, and I broke up with a guy, never looked back, feeling now happier than before.

 

You don”t wanna live your life thinking about others. Talking about what she wore, how he behaved, and what they were talking about. You wanna focus on how you feel, where are you now, and where would you like to go. It is easy to get distracted. We are living in such a distracting times. People talking about people, politics, disasters, economy, consumerism, when in fact, you can create your dream life in this crazy world. How?! By focusing on yourself. Knowing yourself better, digging deep in what you are capable of, and working towards it.

Focusing on yourself might sound very self-centered, but it will actually help you create balance in your life and set healthy boundaries with the people you love. As you grow and improve yourself, you’ll be able to give more to others.

“Focus on your work. Do what you’re great at. Don’t compare yourself to others and or waste time criticizing the lives and work of others. Do what matters most to you and make a difference doing that.”
― Germany Kent

In order to focus more on yourself and not on others, you should be clear about what is important to you, and what is not. After you have decided and prioritized, the next step is to learn to say “no” very often. Finally, it will be very difficult to focus on yourself when adopting a negative or judging inner voice.

Learning to say no is very important. In a video above I am explaining when you should say no. People who learned when to say no and actually saying it, are the most successful. You wanna be one of them, I am sure.

People will always say stuff. The question is, what do you believe for yourself to be true.

I will never forget when I was dating a guy for 10 months, relationship was casual, but I wanted more. Million times I wanted to say him how I really feel about us, but people were telling me that I should not say anything because I might lose him, so I didn”t. Until the day I realized that I need to say what I really feel if I wanna be happy and have that peace of mind.

What I wanna say is that we all have different opinions about everything. We see the world differently and so people will advise you on how they perceive relationships.

You should be your best friend, partner and the spouse.
Focus On Your Wellbeing

My expansion happened when I focused on me, and what I really really wanted. I was brutally honest with myself and I asked myself what would really make him happy, and that was including open yourself up and be completely honest. His answer was no, but my confidence grew because I stood up for myself and I feel more happier, it”s like I am not carrying baggage anymore, I feel more lighter.

So, I would advise you that you, only focus on you. Digg deep in you and be brutally honest with yourself about what it is you truly want and never, but never accept anything less than that. Universe loves courageous people. Universe loves the ones who are authentic and who know what they want.

I found amazing article written by a female about what happens when you focus on yourself, you can find it here.

I love love love this by her:

You’ll become a better lover, friend, and family member.

Focusing on yourself might sound very self-centered, but it will actually help you create balance in your life and set healthy boundaries with the people you love.

As you grow and improve yourself, you’ll be able to give more to others. As you become happier, you’ll have better relationships with your friends and family. You’ll act as a positive force in their lives when they need it most.

Remember, you don’t have to be selfless. It’s better to strike a balance between meeting your own needs and giving to others.

What are some of your thoughts on that? Do you practicing focusing more on yourself and how it is going? How much is important to you? Tell us in a comment section below.

Yours sincerely,

Maja!