“You can, you should, and if you are brave enough to start, you will.”
You are what you think
Think positively and you”ll feel able to manage and do well. Think negatively and you are likely to feel overwhelmed and powerless.
Positive thinking brings hope; the feeling that what you want can happen or that events can turn out for the best. Negative thinking creates a spiral of unhelpful thought’s and difficult feelings. Even when good things happen, negative thinkers tend to see the negative aspects of a situation.
Of course, everybody”s view of the world is different, but if you think life is mostly good, you”ll notice opportunities and good things in your life; if you think life is difficult, you will find obstacles and difficulties in life.
For example, if someone congratulates you on a piece of work you”ve done and you say; “Thanks, but it wasn’t that good”, and then tell them about the aspects that didn’t go so well. In situations like this, for you, things have to be perfect or they don’t count.
Moving on from negative thinking
Recognize negative self talk. Happiness doesn’t depend on how few negative thought’s you have, but on what you do with the ones you have.
Your negative thought’s are so powerful because you rarely have conscious awareness or control over them. You simply accept your thought’s and respond accordingly.
Think of something you would like to do in future – travel somewhere, follow an interest or hobby, change your career direction, leave a job or relationship – but haven’t done yet. Write down your thought’s and feelings about it.
When you”re in the habit of thinking and interpreting events in a negative way, it”s not easy to say positive things to yourself. It”s also not easy to say positive things to yourself when you”re worried, stressed or upset. It”s not easy but it is possible.
If you change the way you think, you will create a change in how you feel, what you do and how you behave.
Just realizing that your mind is thinking negative thought’s means you have already begun to de-fuse from those thought’s; separated yourself a little bit from them. Writing them down can separate you from them too – instead of letting negative thought’s swirl around in your mind, you can see your thought’s as just letters and words on paper.
Taking positive action
Whatever way you choose to see it, positive thinking alone won’t get you what you want.
Whatever it is you want, you must plan, put in time and effort and work towards achieving what you want. You have to make the most of the opportunities, take some risks and be prepared to deal with obstacles, setbacks and disappointments.
“Success depends on your backbone not your wishbone.” Kamari aka Lyrikal
Having things that you want to do and achieve – having goals and aims – can give you a positive path to follow. In fact, working towards goals both requires and develops optimism and positivity.
“No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you”re still way ahead of anyone who isn’t trying.” Tony Robbins
Finding and keeping motivation
You may hear yourself say some of the following:
- I”m not ready
- It”s not the right time
- It”s going to be too hard
- It will take too long
These excuses can often sound quite convincing. But if you believe them, if you stay in your comfort zone, doing the same old activities and tasks on autopilot and not trying anything new, you could well be missing out. Nothing will change and you won’t get what you want in life.
So how to get motivated and stay motivated? By thinking positively, of course!
Decide what is the one thing you can do right now. Then do that one thing. Give it your full attention. Answer that one email, make that first phone call. Start filling in that form. Just clear out one drawer.
After a short time, the positive feelings which you would like to achieve from doing that activity start to emerge naturally. You don’t have to wait for your thought’s and feelings to change before you get going. Get going and your feelings will change.
Motivation is made up of three aspects – what you think, what you feel and what you do.
Recent research suggests that the way you sit or stand can actually affect the way your brain functions.
- Stand or sit straight
- keep your head level
- relax your shoulders
- spread your weight evenly on both legs
- if sitting, keep your elbows on the arms of your chair (rather than tightly against your sides)
- make appropriate eye contact
- lower the pitch of your voice
- speak more slowly
Building your self-esteem and confidence
The best place to start building your confidence and self-esteem is from a position of strength. Instead of focusing on what you believe you can’t do, focus on what you know you can do and what you know makes you feel good about yourself There are a number of ways you can do this.
- Focus on the things that make you feel good about yourself
- Identify your qualities
- Through positive personal affirmations
- Positive people
- Positive news
Dealing with disappointments and setbacks, trauma and tragedy
Continue to have goals. Let them drive you forward. As Friedrich Nietzsche said, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” And that”s positive thinking!
Perception of the events is that you think you did wrong and now you feel like crap! And the more you replay events over in your mind, the worse you seem to make them. It”s like a game of Chinese whispers going on in your head: the more you replay it, the more distorted it becomes.
“Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare